The problem with youth obesity is not the food industry, it's not the slick marketing of junk food, it's not the lack of physical education in our schools, it's not the internet and it's not TV. It's PARENTS! Starting in the pre-schools years and building a foundation for life skills and dealing with authority and interacting with peers is or should be taught by parents. Social interaction at this age is a key during this developmental stage. Children are learning how to use words to express themselves and speak kindly to friends.
They are learning how to take turns and what it means to be a friend. They are also learning how to deal with adversity. By teaching respect, and expecting respect, your child will learn the fundamental skills necessary to follow instructions in both school and life. In addition, you will set the stage for enhanced self-control and the ability to follow your house rules such as TV time, video game time, active play time and rest time.
Early self-esteem and physical health education is nourished through respect for their body. Healthy eating, proper rest, and plenty of active play, as well as being proud of their unique appearance, ideas, and emotions, will build a strong, confident child. Children should also learn to respect their feelings and know their boundaries.
Example: "It's okay to be angry sometimes. It's okay that something is hard to do, and to be anxious about a new experience. But it is not okay to lie."
Offering a world that clarifies your family's rules, values, and expectations, minimizes harsh judgment, and respects individuality will open many doors for exploration and responsibility. This is critically important when you begin to talk with your child about the benefits of healthy foods and physical activity.
What does respect look like from a preschooler?
• Respect for us as parents
• Respect for each other, siblings, friends
• Respect for classmates
• Respect for teachers and family
• Respect for neighbors, property, belongings
• Respect for themselves, their bodies, minds, and spirits
Make teaching and modeling respect a consistent part of your daily activity. Whether it is at home, at the library, at preschool, or over at Grandma and Grandpa's, expect respectful behavior. What does this look like? Here are a few practice drills that exemplify how to talk and walk the road to respect:
• Expect respect from your children by giving it to them. Squat down and look them in their eyes when speaking to them. Be quiet and listen to what they have to say. Answer their questions, as many as those may be, with a purposeful and legitimate answer. At the very least, give them a truthful explanation of why you might be too busy to give them your full attention.
• Use a loving and respectful tone of voice to encourage them to do the same. Give them respect for their ideas even if they may seem repetitive or absurd at times.
• Acknowledge them as their own person - with their own valuable thoughts, feelings, fears, interests. Validate their emotions even if you don't always agree with or understand them.
• Praise respectful behaviors and have consequences for disrespect. Consistency is a must. You will EARN their respect by clearly describing your expectations in terms of behaviors and sticking to them. Do not be fooled into thinking respect is something children are born with and will have for you forever more. Inconsistency, such as allowing bad behavior when out at a store or a friend's house, yields uncertainty and opens the door for a preschooler's interpretation of rules and respect. You are the parent - take charge of this core value. Instill its importance early.
• At this age, children are like sponges - talk and act the way you want them to behave. Model behaviors that you want to see in your children.
As parents be sure to say "please" and "thank you" to each other and your children.
Use proper tone, body language, and eye contact when conversing with your children. Avoid sarcasm, yelling, or shameful words. Don't talk with your back turned or holler up the stairs to get their attention.
Squat down to their level to talk and give them time to think about and convey their replies.
Give a yes or no answer to questions and properly acknowledge requests.
Repetition is monotonous, but also the key to success.
Respect rest. Our children already know that to have a fun-filled day of play and exploring, they need to give their bodies great food to fuel their engines. Same goes for rest and sleep. Try to make sure there is quiet time each day. For the younger kids, this is usually once in the late morning and then again in the late afternoon, maybe when dinner is being prepared. For those going to preschool, this is usually right after school as an unwind time. A consistent bedtime routine for the kids, as well as the adults, is crucial for development. Suffice it to say that respect for rest emphasizes its importance.
Stick with one behavior all week and be fair and consistent, not angry or sporadic with your praise or consequences. Set up a Respect chart for the week and post it in a visible location. Let the whole family help with putting stars on the chart for every positive, respectful behavior witnessed or performed. Offer a family prize as a reward (such as family movie night, picnic at the park, family game night) at the end of the week if your family gets 10 stars per day. Use different color stars for different family members to encourage all to participate.
Stephen and Tina Conca have been helping families with their children for decades. Stephen has an undergraduate degree in Exercise and Sports Science from the University of North Carolina at Greensboro, and a graduate degree in Athletic Development and Injury Prevention from California University of PA. In addition, Stephen earned his Strength and Conditioning Specialist certification from the National Strength & Conditioning association. He also is a Level I Certified U.S. Olympic Weightlifting Coach and a Level 2 Youth Conditioning Specialists with the International Youth Conditioning Association.
Tina, is a licensed physical therapist, an NCSA-certified strength and conditioning specialist, a certified ergonomic analyst, and a former Division One collegiate softball player and multi-sports athlete. In addition to receiving her Biology/Pre-Med undergraduate degree from The College of the Holy Cross, she also completed her graduate degree in Physical Therapy from the University of Rhode Island.
Stephen & Tina Conca are the creators of http://www.Raisefitkids.com a resource for parents in helping them promote a healthy and active lifestyle with their children while building and maintaining a fit family.
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